Meditation in Yogic and Tantric Traditions

I listened to the podcast on Buddha-nature and we are reading about it now in third turning. It seems like people have a challenging time really understanding it at all given the way we perceive time in this culture. I also listened to a podcast on time and the constructed nature of it. It relates well with Buddha-nature because this is not about time operating linearly. The past, present, and future are already present. A seed can only grow into a shoot and into a plant with the passing of time, which is not necessarily how the potential of a seed works in Buddha-nature. It is already all pervasive like space. My goal about not letting the past overlay my present and worry me for the future is more realized within the context of this notion of Buddha-nature. I have felt more present given I am only here right now and these conditions set me up for the next moment. The anxiety will not change anything. I feel more connected to what is here and now.

In class, we expanded, like the sky, into the infinite and merged with it as if it were none other than ourselves. Then we did not abandon our heart-minds at the center or leave it for happiness or suffering. Then we abandoned the thoughts that our mind might be fixed on. 93, 102, 129 Vijñāna Bhairava Tantra These three instructions together were instantaneously directive for me to be fully present. I have been coming back to these instructions many times in a day as I am driving or walking. Sometimes, I know that if I think of all that I need to do, I will be swept away into anxiety that is not relevant for the present moment to exist in its fullness. So, I come back to walking, walking. Or driving, driving. There is nowhere else to be. All accomplishing action will be done. To project fear of the future or leave my body for some other happiness trip, I will miss the joy that pervades this moment.

Almost spring break, yet the days are still full. Today I woke up early to do faerie hair at a Daybreaker event from 6-9 am before meditating in the karma room at noon followed by three classes until 6 pm. Stopped to eat empañadas before the drive back to Denver listening to Michelle Obama in the book Becoming.  When I am blessing people before the faerie hair, I was present. Even with a line of 15 people waiting for my service, I can form a connection between me and the person receiving. This is a concentrated meditation for me. When I am in class, I am present and focused on whoever is talking. When I am eating, I am eating and I made sure to do that even though I was alone and could have easily spent the time on my phone. Everyday concentration in the busy life of the day.  The future planning is creeping in, however, as I figure out how to manage the 18 credit end of class projects and a business plan. Yet, as always, with right effort and right concentration, they ...

We are reading the Uttaratantra in third turning right now about Buddha-Nature. This text seems very similar in the underlying message. One of the main examples about defilements in regard to this primordial universal energy is that of a window. It is pure glass. When it has dirt, it is called dirty and when the dirt is wiped off, it is called clean, yet those are both missing the point of what the window is, which is neither clean nor dirty. Beyond this simple example, there is no goal of the path, yet the path allows defilements to be let go of to reveal such a nature. There is a bringing nirvana into samsāra and feeling connected to all that is and inherently is not.

I have been practicing the candlelight practice for Śamatha of Mahamudra as well as in the Patanjali mind-training sequence. It has been helpful, yet I have noticed more thoughts arise with this practice than other practices without it. It could be that the lack of continuity is more obvious. It seems like getting into a trance with the candle is missing the point, yet using it to reach a state of pure concentration seems difficult using this object of meditation. It is not like I am over-exerting necessarily but just noticed how my mind was able to work with this practice. This could be a representation of relaxation in exertion - my goal.

I feel like I have been more in the fire this last year to really work consciously with the teachings. I am grateful for all the opportunities to keep coming back to the path. One of my mottos has been that I am not given anything that I cannot handle at the moment and, the fact that I am given much substance, is a gift. I feel like I have really begun seeing more light and fruits of a lot of these hard fiery times, and this keeps me committed to staying disciplined in the path of returning to the path.