Meditation in Yogic and Tantric Traditions

One of the things that meditation is extremely helpful with is working with impulse control and discernment. I notice I am quicker to want to be impulsive in a more constricted state and my responsibility as a conscious human is to be of benefit to others and the world. Even the practice of meditation can be approached in a rigid and constricted way or a curious, open way. This, I believe makes a difference. I can see how this can be related to Patañjali and Abhinavagupta. From this spontaneous spark of grace and being in touch with the Divine nature of how things really are, one can approach meditation in a way that is pure in nature. And the Patañjali mind training could be approached in a systematic way that is wanting to achieve something and could be intensely strict. However, perhaps this method could lead to glimpses of what Abhinavagupta points to, which can further shape a practice of spontaneity and discernment of the nature of reality. I have given intentional space to my ...

During my trip to Nashville last weekend, I received cranial sacral work with my grandmother. She immediately saw me standing and said to "come back to the present." She continued to say, "This is where it all is." This felt appropriate given my goal of the semester to not overlay the present on the future. Clearly, I was in the future. I attempted to pay attention to my thoughts throughout the day to watch when they were fixated on the future in any way. This was really challenging. I notice when I eat with my partner, I want to talk about the future of the day, rather than what is going on in the present moment. I have also been in the future as I consider to buy a house. I am staying attentive to how my thoughts get lost in the future.

I notice that I used to be more anxious and time would get the best of me. Although my days are full and although I was in the airport this morning in long lines with anxious conversations, I had a sense of calm as I meandered through the lines reading Autobiography of a Yogi. In the last 6 months or so, I have been able to put more trust in the flow and really enjoy the trust fall into the arms of this energetic nurturance. I am also in the Buddha room this week and got some much-needed bodywork yesterday to clear some channels that got full and were creeping into my shoulder. Welcoming space to enter in a more obvious way, especially so that I can continue to deepen my practice again.

The one time that I felt that I moved through Patañjali's Mind Training, was at my Dharma Ocean meditation retreat two years ago. My posture was the first step and this was probably the most challenging part. My back hurt and it was painful to move through this. I would get up in the morning and stretch and work with it at night with my back massager. Once my posture was manageable and comfortable, I was able to really get into the somatic practice of pure awareness. I followed my breath through my belly, through the earth, and up my central channel. I did this slowly and with attention. My mind was able to stay with my breath and it got more focused every session. I was the most still that I had ever been practicing in these sessions, especially after I began noticing how calm my mind could become with this cycle of breath. I feel like my senses were withdrawn and I was in this state of settled and undistracted space. My teacher, Norman, who was also the man who trained me as a ...

In some ways, I am working way too hard throughout the day as I accomplish the varying tasks that I have set out for myself. I am up early and home late. I am also clear in mind as to where I am in my process. Yet, I still am not slowing down. I see the paradox and know I am feeling distracted and accomplished, but mostly just worn out. Every day has been busy and I feel myself slipping. This makes moments of taking time for myself to be still much more invited. However, as I create moments of distraction rather than truly being still and doing nothing, I am creating patterns in my system that seek constant stimulation. Once this day is over, I can lie in bed…once this week is over, I can take a nap…but every weekend has been full and I only have a little more in me before I take an immune dive. My body is good at giving me feedback, even though I have been slower than usual to actively respond. But really…after this weekend of going to Nashville, I really do want to take time off...