Glimpse at possible samādhi

The one time that I felt that I moved through Patañjali's Mind Training, was at my Dharma Ocean meditation retreat two years ago. My posture was the first step and this was probably the most challenging part. My back hurt and it was painful to move through this. I would get up in the morning and stretch and work with it at night with my back massager. Once my posture was manageable and comfortable, I was able to really get into the somatic practice of pure awareness. I followed my breath through my belly, through the earth, and up my central channel. I did this slowly and with attention. My mind was able to stay with my breath and it got more focused every session.

I was the most still that I had ever been practicing in these sessions, especially after I began noticing how calm my mind could become with this cycle of breath. I feel like my senses were withdrawn and I was in this state of settled and undistracted space. My teacher, Norman, who was also the man who trained me as a wilderness therapy guide in previous years, was in front of me holding a steady gaze. He said I was a mountain and would not move for 45 minutes. My eyes would be open and I rarely blinked. As my focus became more calm, focused, and one-pointed, I would notice things like the lights change or my body slightly shaking. I went through various stages in my time there, but I will always remember those experiences as touchstones for my practice.

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